Unda Da Radar

Just like Jenna Hamilton, I figured that my blog does not get a lot of attention. This used to upset me when I first started blogging. I wanted to recognized and applauded quiet selfishly actually. Oh well, now I've embraced it. I feel a little more brave talking to the three people that actually read my blog. The fact that some of you are strangers scares me less. It's my friends that scare me. I hate judgement.

 

I had a pretty normal Monday. It's the start of exam week - whoopdi freaking doo. The messed up thing is that for some reason, the administration decided that exam week was the perfect week to schedule a writing assessment. This happy little announcement means that I'll only be visiting about half of my classes for the next two days which means that I'll get half the study time I need for those classes for exams. So awesome.

 

More ranting starts now. I know this sounds like a horrible thing to say and I'll probably end up seeming like a really conceited and mean person, but a lot of times at school I feel that I'm more mature than the majority of the kids in my classes. Even my AP English class which I expected would cater to serious, hard-working students. That's about half the class. My newspaper production class is the worst, though. I get so annoyed with the new kids in that class so easily. I figured, hey, we're all sophomores and juniors, we should be mature enough to manage our time to get our work done, be respectful to other people working and be aware of your surroundings. I guess I was wrong... So many excuses are made, so many people with such entitlement issues... It makes me want to rip my hair out. I feel like a mean person... I'm not, I swear. But I do have little patience. It's funny, I have more patience for younger kids because I expect them to not know any better. But we're all in high school. We're practically adults. It's just ridiculous. End rant.

 

I got home to an empty house. That's not unusual. I'm not complaining though, I don't mind it. I can eat junk food and take a nap without anyone breathing down my neck. And my dogs are pretty nice company until they wake up from they're nap ready to go to some business outside and I'm still half asleep from my nap. Still not complaining.

So anyway, my mom called me when I got home. She was waiting in traffic coming back from buying Christmas presents. She was in a particularly good mood. She tends to be when she's super productive without being a work. So we talked for like a half hour on the phone about my day, about hers, about my brother's Christmas presents, exams, etc. It was nice. We're pretty close but I don't see her very much because of work. It really makes me sad. But she'll be home tonight preparing fried chicken and other fixins while I'm in my room pretending to study when I'm really just posting all of this here...

#mylife

 

We Should Say Thanks More Often

Kind of late, but this was my post for Thanksgiving on the Speak Now website.

http://www.wespeaknow.org/2012/11/we-should-say-thanks-more-often.html

Enjoy...

It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Singletown: Happy Thanksgiving

(First off let me just say that Lizzie's post was not at all professional but she doesn't lie and all those hard cold facts that she wrote made me cry like baby. No joke. I love my best friend.)

Wow. Here I go again, talking about boys. I feel weird talking about this since boys haven't been taking up the majority of my free time lately (shocker), church has. I'm so blessed to have finally found a church that I truly connect with and will be a part of my entire life. My journey to Catholicism will end in the spring, but my faith won't stop there. But turning away from the future and looking at the present for a moment, this church occupies my Wednesday, Sunday, and every other Monday evenings. And I'm loving every bit of it. 

Okay. My little rant about church is over for this post. I'll elaborate another time. Now I'm going to talk about how I spend the small portion of my free time that's left over after church, school, and weekends with the crazy lady that wrote my last post and her boyfriend. Thinking about boys. My gosh, it sounds so juvenile when I say it out loud. But it's really true. I've been single for what feels like years but really has only been a few months and I'm going crazy. My wonderful lady friends all tell me the same thing: 

"You don't need no man in yo life! You're a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself!" and all that jazz. I know I don't need one. Heck, who needs 'em anyways? All they do is eat your food and, well, yeah that's basically it. But it's never been that way for me. The boys that I've dated (I only count about two) were so good to me. They didn't use me, abuse me and whatever else rhymes. They treated me like a princess. Homemade Christmas gifts and romantic ways of asking me to Winter Formal first semester, and when he didn't work out (Lord, I might be crazy for letting that one go) an even better fellow came along and bought me dinners, held me close when I cried and made me laugh until I could feel the abs form under my belly. Now that he's gone too, I'm left with little 'ole me back at square one eating homemade snow cones by myself. How I miss that summer. 

But "square one" is actually quite accurate. This time last year, I had a date to Winter Formal. I had my dress and the shoes, he had his adorable matching tie. We danced like dorks and kissed like we were the only ones on the dance floor when "Don't Stop Believing" blasted in our ears. Now, I'm left with obvious choices, hoping desperately that I won't have to spend the night of Winter Formal alone in my room complaining to all of you. Because frankly, my friends are even getting sick of me talking about how single I am. I don't want to say I'm desperate, even though I just might be, because being desperate means being vulnerable. I don't ever want to be that. I want to be the strong, independent woman my girl friends think I am. But really, all I want is attention. All I want is to fall in love again with someone even better than the last. Someone to last forever. Or I just want a date to Winter Formal. Baby steps. 

Complaining put aside, it's the time of year to be thinking about the things in my life that I do have, not the things I'm missing. So here's a list:

Things Emma is Thankful For:

- Her family. Duh. 

- Her friends. I finally know who my true ones are. 

- My church. You know the deal. 

- My home. With disasters around the world, corruption, hate, etc. I'm so glad to be safe, sound and happy. Because deep down, I know I'm happy.

- The ability to do what I love. Starting new projects (Thanks for the watercolor paper, Daddy!), being able to blog to all of you; these things aren't possible for some, and I can't tell you how thankful I am for the relief they bring. 

It's a short list. If I listed every little thing I'm thankful of, you guys would hate me for such a long post (rain, sunrises, clean paint pallets, long weekends, etc). 

IN CONCLUSION: I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving. Spend time with your family, give your best friend a hug and eat some pumpkin pie. Done. 

Lizzie: I didn't spell check so don't come at me with any corrections and such. Loveyakbye

For Emma Timms, the love of my life

Yo, yo, yo allll yoouuuu sucka MC's ain't got nothin' on me. From my grades to my lines, you can't touch Lizzie G. I'm an athlete, so nerd's not inferred. fo-forget what you heard, I'm Lizzie Griffith. 

Yeah, so Emma wouldn't post anything, so I made her let me do it. 

So ... yeah. 

It's Halloween. And we're sitting together, collectively having not a single life between the two of us. 

Waddup, we're cute and we know it. 

Our awkward little trio

5 hours later ...... 

I didn't mean to wait, but it happened. Deal with it. 


So we had the greatest night ... We went trick-or-treating and stuff. Yeah, it was great. She was our mom. You know, since that's totally normal and everything.

I have no idea what to write. I told her I was going to post something on her blog, but I have no idea what to write. Screw life.  

When looking through our friendship on facebook for inspiration or something to write about, I found this ....


My dearest Emma,
It has recently come to my attention that I have a deep, burning passion inside of me that yearns for you. I realized that my creepy, yet loving, obsession with you is irrevocable. Your beautiful hair and your beautiful eyes just melt my soul. Your humor hurts my insides, but not in the way that hot ramen noodles do; it is a good hurt, one that I enjoy. I long for you and your friendship. I want you, Emma Timms. I want you day in and day out. I know that we will never be able to take advantage of our love for each other, but I still want you to know. I love you. I want you. I need you. 
Love always,
Lizzie Griffith♥

^^ k.immakreep ^^ 


So she doesn't know that I'm going to do this, but it's happening it anyway. 

10 Reasons Why I love Emma Malin Timms, by Lizzie Griffith

1. She's hilarious. I don't think I've ever had a single conversation with Emma that did not leave me dying of laughter. Even when I'm pissed off and ready to set someone on fire, she can always make me laugh and get my mind off of it. 
2. She's beautiful. Inside and out. But really. She doesn't even realize how beautiful she truly is. 
3. She's amazing. It doesn't matter what's going on in my life or what type of crap is going down, she's always there for me to make me feel better. 
4. She's one of my best friends. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory ... 
5. She's my girlfriend. We're lesbians. That's pretty much it. 
6. She's a sweetheart. I don't even know how she does it. She always puts everyone else first and never complains about it. 
7. She's fun. I've never been bored for a single second that I've spent with Emma. I don't think it's even possible. Really. It's not. 
8. She's creative. She's an amazing artist, if you didn't already know. I love creativity. Probably because I have none. 
9. She has the best stories. I'm not even sure how it's possible, but her stories are always interesting and funny. 
10. Because she's just Emma Malin Timms. If you don't know why this is awesome ... well, you should probably just find out. 

Just for the record, while I was texting someone about this, I accidentally texted Emma about it instead of the person I meant to. Awk. My life, right there for all to see. 

I love Emma too much for words. I'm pretty sure people would think we were lesbian for each other if they didn't know better. (We're not, by the way.)

By the way, I'm Lizzie Griffith, the Lizziesapien, apparently the most annoying motivator in the world, according to Emma. Whatever you choose to call me, I can deal. 

I think I've pretty much ran out of creative juice for one night. Okay, that is all. I will hack her blog at some other point to profess my love for her again. Just wait, it's coming. 

So Emma, this is for you, my dear. I love you more than you understand.

Happy Hallowiener. And no-shave November begins tomorrow. Just a friendly reminder.

A Lack of Everything

As I'm sure most of you who read regularly have noticed my absence.... again. I have recently been diagnosed with an extremely severe case of Laziness and Procrastinate Personality Disorder. These are self-diagnoses of course, but nonetheless, quite accurate. I've found myself suffocated by a lack of almost everything. Here's a list for you.

1. Lack of Motivation.
I feel like (excuse my French!) a fucking broken record. I know I don't curse much on here, to avoid offending any readers, but this "lack of" bugs me the most, and I feel like I complain about it all the time. I've been suffering from every kind of mental block you can think of, from my art to my social life, and it's driving me bonkers. Today, after doing a half-assed cleaning job on the inside of my car (pardon me, again) and then getting a mani-pedi, I spent the entire rest of the day watching every episode of The Office on Netflix from season 1. I only got to the end of season 2. Talk about productive. Somebody, please help me?

2. Lack of Inspiration.
Just about as bad as the first, also kind of goes under the same category as the first, but I'll separate it merely for the sake of making my list a little longer. My "art life" pretty much no longer exist, which is pretty sad. Sad meaning pathetic, because I'm totally capable of creating art like I used to. But, because of combined lack of motivation (hello no. 1) and inspiration, my sketchbook is collecting dust. Not helpful when I'm currently applying for a scholarship to take college art classes for five weeks at MTSU and they kind of need to see a sketchbook during the portfolio review portion of the interview, and I have nothing current to show. Did I say pathetic? So, I bought a new sketchbook last weekend and as I was trying to throw down some kick sketches, I realized how much ability and skill-work I lost in my months of laziness. It's totally biting me in the butt. Now I have to practice, practice, practice.

3. Lack of boyfriend.
Holy smokes, I'm talking about my love life. I really try not to do this on the internet too much, especially when I could be writing to strangers (but I think I know most of my readers). This is just a touchy subject. Those who do know me know that my boyfriend and I broke up during the summer, not because we wanted to, but because he has a military father like me and had to leave. Recently, we've lost contact. For good? I don't know. But it's for the time being. At first, it made me sad. But after thinking about it, I've realized that it's a good opportunity to start dating again without feeling guilty. I'm the kind of girl who loves having a boyfriend, unlike some girls who just complain about how much drama they come with. No, the guys that I've dated, which haven't been very many so far, relieve drama for me. It's comforting. I'm not saying I'm the girl who HAS to have a boyfriend, I just enjoy having one. So if you know anyone who's single... Just kidding. But seriously. But just kidding.

4. Lack of computer.
This has happened before, and I'm using it as an excuse for my inability to post on my blog regularly... My personal laptop is down again, and I don't know why. The internet just refuses to open. Cool, huh? Anyway, so I have limited access to all of my documents and photos and stuff, so it's kind of hard to post from other computers in my house. #firstworldprobs 

So anyway, I know this is a long post, but I thought I owed you guys some explanation. As for my art thing, I'm actually trying to find some motivation to start a new project. I love landscapes and I took some great photos of my aunt's backyard while I was out of town. Not that anyone knew that I was out of town because I'm too freaking lazy to log on here and tell you guys. Oh well, sue me.

My aunt's backyard and possible painting project.

I am actually going to try to work out an actual schedule for my posts. I'm thinking either twice a week or once a week. My life isn't very interesting so I don't want to bore anyone with unnecessary posts about what I ate for breakfast.

Also, please keep visiting Speak Now's website at wespeaknow.org. My next post won't be until November, but other posts are rolling in frequently, so there's a lot to check out!

Last but not least, I would reeeeaaaallllyyyy like some feedback. I don't get any responses from my readers, if I have any. If you don't have a BlogSpot or Google account, and you can't post comments directly on my blog, e-mail me at starvingartblog@yahoo.com or comment on my Facebook page! I would really like to hear from someone, anyone who has suggestions, post ideas and topics, or if you just have any questions. Or you just want to say hey. That'd be nice too.

I'm off all week because my school is weird and has a week off for Fall Break. So, I'll be sleeping in suckers! 

Happy Tuesday!

(shout out to Lizziesapien for being the best motivator evarrr)

Attempting to Empower

Hi everyone who is still following me even though I've been completely inactive for a while... I'd like to take a moment and thank the ones who have still been reading my blog, even if there hasn't been anything new to read. Your patience and support and appreciated!

I feel myself becoming a broken record, constantly telling everyone about my stressers. There's too many of them in my life now and I'm constantly worrying about the smallest obstacles. Homework, chores, my job, my social life, my love life (or should I say "non-existent" love life); it's all starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders. I'm lucky to have great friends that take some of the weight off for me, and who do their best to cheer me up. Without them, my weekends wouldn't be as enjoyable.

I'm so blessed. I have the most amazing honor of posting original writing on the Speak Now website. My first post aired last week on Friday, and I couldn't be more excited. Before, it hadn't really settled in, but it's now starting to; I'm a part of such an amazing team. I feel like I have some purpose with my writing now. I'm no longer talking to myself. I'm reaching out to people. And that makes me so extremely happy.

Please visit wespeaknow.org and visit the Empower page to read my post about holding your own in the presence of peer pressure. I really tried my hardest to stay honest. I wanted to sound like myself, so people will start to recognize my writing, and I also wanted readers to know that I'm not being fake when I write these posts for Speak Now. I'm writing from personal experiences and most importantly, from the heart. I want readers to know that I'm not perfect, but my imperfections, mistakes and regrets give me strength and a story to tell. I hope readers get inspired and also learn from my posts. Those are my goals.

Thanks for reading. Happy Tuesday!

Reminders!

Just a quick update! (so lazy, no pics, sorry!) Speak Now has launched it's brand new site today! Go to www.wespeaknow.org to check it out!!

Also, I made a Twitter... probably not my best idea. Oh well, YOLO. Follow me @emmylou596 to get updates for my blog and stuff. It's also my personal Twitter so you'll see other fun stuff too...

AND last but not least! I have a new e-mail for my blog only! So, if you'd like to reach me for something blog related, e-mail at starvingartblog@yahoo.com and I'll reply. You can still get me at my personal e-mail navy.brat@yahoo.com but whatever.

Sorry for my lack of posts... I've had probably the craziest two weeks of my life, which included a mental break down in the middle of my Newspaper staff. Not fun. But I'm feeling better and will be posting again. Hope you enjoyed my last post, even though most of you might not know Lizzie. She's not really a wild animal. I've tamed her. She lives in my computer mostly now. Anyway...

Have a great Labor Day weekend everyone! FOLLOW MY TWITTER. kthxbai

National Geographic

A lonely roar echoes across Zambia's (where dafuq is that) lower plain. There is no answer; there hasn't been for years (lol forever alone). Poaching has wiped out her kind, and for many years, she has had to survive on her own. This year, however, the rare female species, now categorized as Lizziesapien (I made that up), has finally found her mate.

Lizziesapien (left) and mate spotted at watering hole.

As an intrepid explorer, I have spent that last few months examining the two creatures at a distance. Recently (not really omg we need to hang out soon), Lizziesapien and her new mate, Bret...a stray alley cat? (idk, that's what he said he wanted to be) were stopped near a watering hole, an unusual spot to find these two; completely away from her natural habitat which might include dark, dank bedrooms with very little lighting. Most of the light the Lizziesapien receives comes from the glowing nocturnal commodity, a Laptop, which can be found in her natural habitat. The Lizziesapien works hard in her cave-like enclosure to keep up with the rest of her natural surroundings and interacting species, although she might suffer from ADD. Maybe.


Lizziesapien in her natural habitat.

After studying the Lizziesapien, I've noticed quite irregular eating patterns. Depending on the day of week, occasion, mood, or surrounding environment, Lizziesapien's diet can vary immensely. She has been spotted gnawing on a pot of boxed Mac-n-Cheese while simultaneously guarding a carton of ice cream. But the Lizziesapien is not a selfish animal, for she has also been observed sharing her meals and findings with companions, often leaving her fellow species and mate delicacies.

Although knowledge of the Lizziesapien is growing rapidly, not much is known of the strange female. She is a reserved kind, if she is not familiar. But once familiar, she no longer seems strange, but as common as me or you. Always remember when approaching a Lizziesapien; although they can be gentle creatures, they are often easily spooked and can become aggressive during certain times of the month... I leave you on this note; The Lizziesapien may be just as scared of you as you may be of her.  The Lizziesapien.

Sorry for my absence; I've been having a tough few weeks. But a weird (best) friend of mine told me that if I didn't post something soon, she would. Which might or might not be a bad idea. Anyways, so I decided to write a post about her, and how unusually normal she might be. I've been watching animal documentaries so I was inspired. Whatever. Meet Lizzie. A teenage girl that goes to school with only girls and is dating a cool guy with a cooler truck.

Happy Wednesday night, peeps.

Sorry I'm Late

Hellooooo everyone! I just landed back into the scorching hot state of TN last night, home sweet home I suppose. Anyway, I'll be posting pictures as soon as I can, but things will be getting a little busy now that I'm starting school again. JUNIOR YEAR, WHOO. It's actually kinda funny, because I'm not really that pumped for it, but I'm not bummed about it either. I'm just kinda indifferent. Oh well, another year comes and goes.

Speak Now will be launching their new and improved website on Sept. 1st, and I'm so excited to be apart of the new team! Ms. Ellie hosted a fun little meet & greet on our team Facebook page, where everyone made their own little video introduction. Here's mine, so all of you can judge me with no makeup on and shower hair... I've had a lot of fun watching the other videos and getting to know everyone. Hope to see you all make your way over to the website and September so you can meet everyone too!

Well, I need to finish unpacking... Happy Sunday everyone!

Erryday I'm Tumblrin'

Hiya bloggers! Just a friendly and "trying-not-to-be-annoying" reminder to check out my Tumblr page! I just posted an updated logo and it's lookin' very very niceee.

DeviantArt

Want to find me somewhere else? That's cool too. I also have a DeviantArt account (which I haven't updated in a little while, appologies).

Don't want to see me there? No worries. Go look at my Facebook Page and like it up! Also, tell your friends about me while your there! I'll be your best friend if you do...

I also just created a super cool and super new Insta-Grid! Which is totes fun. You should make one too, because it's what all the cool people are doing. (Yay for peer-pressure!)

Instagram @emmylou596

ONE LAST REMINDER! Please please please please pretty please with extra cherries pay a visit to Speak Now's website. A wonderful lady is doing a wonderful thing and big changes will be happening soon, so go check it out now and see what's up!

Thanks for putting up with my promoting! In about a week I will be going away on a little family vaca, so I won't be able to access the internet while I'm away. Sadly, you won't hear from me for about 7 days. But shortly after that I'm staying with the lovely Natali in beautiful San Diego! You'll hear lot's from me then (and see lot's of pictures!)

Happy Monday all!

Little Things Like This

Since joining our local Catholic church, I've been heavily involved in the church's youth group. I've made wonderful friends and even though I haven't been a part of it very long, I already have so many happy memories. Sadly and happily, it's really the first time I've felt like I belong in a church.

This summer, I joined the youth group's slow-pitch noncompetitive softball team. There should be a law that prohibits clumsy people (moi) from playing on sports teams, but my teammates and coaches are forgiving and we've been able to have some good laughs.

A few weeks ago was our first game. A teammate and a wonderful friend drove me there. He has an older worn down truck that's absolutely my most favorite vehicle in the world. It roars and it creaks and screams as he speeds down highways and driveways. I'm sitting in the passenger seat, listening to his heavy metal music blaring from a small radio hooked up to his iPod. The windows are down and the wind from the passing cars whips my ponytail back and forth and almost makes the music louder. We don't talk much, considering we wouldn't really be able to hear each other speak, so I just sat there, enjoying the truck, the wind, the music... It was wonderful.

Don't tell my boyfriend, but I'm having a love affair with that truck. And it's getting pretty serious.

Things have been so tense and stressful lately. It was nice to kind of shut the world out in the half hour truck ride. Not being able to hear my cell phone, not having to talk, just sitting there enjoying life for 30 minutes. I was in such a good mood afterwards, I barely noticed how hot the sun was while playing that game. We won 16 to 2. I felt like I was sitting on top of the world.

Little things like good friends, good times, and loud trucks make life so sweet. I really hope the next few years of high school are full of more of these kind of memories. Maybe I'll stop having nightmares. And maybe my hair will stop slowly falling out... Seriously, I find more loose strands on my pillow every morning. I'm starting to get freaked out.

Happy Saturday, everyone. I hope your weekend is full of little things like these.

What I Desperately Need

Motivation
to be able to do the things I love without second guessing myself and my ability to do them.
to try new things, even if they seem scary at first.
to stay positive through rough patches in life, even when they throw themselves at you all at the same time.

Inspiration
to stay interested with my passions.
to be able to grow in whatever new hobbies I take up.
to drive me to open that bottle of blue paint that's been sitting on my desk for too long now.

Positive Vibes
to keep smiling even when it hurts.
to make the best of the little time I have left with the ones I love.
to make it through the rest of these crappy years of high school and still be able to look back and say they weren't all that bad.

Good Times
to tell my kids about when I'm a mommy.
to make sure I don't leave this place unremembered.
to die with a smile on my face, knowing that my life wasn't just one big fake smile.

Hazy Afternoon

There's something about gauzy curtains that I just love.

They're so beautiful.

They're so calming, like rubbing lotion on freshly shaven legs, or a glass of milk before bed.

They're what you need after a hot bath, or a cold shower.

They're perfect after a long day at work. Just draw them over the sun, and the room becomes different.


Relaxing, soothing, even romantic if you want it to be.

I like the ones in my mom's room. She has a lot of windows, so the sun glares off of the television. But when those curtains close over that sun, I suddenly want to sleep, I want to paint, I want to have good dreams instead of nightmares for once. Everything becomes so pretty.

My afternoon has consisted of laying in my mom's bed all day, staring at her curtains. Nobody was home, just me, the quiet, and the curtains. Oh, and cake batter ice cream...

Happy Wednesday, kiddos.

(This post sounded a lot prettier in my head)

My Life in 6 Seconds

Look, Something Special

Hi, my name is Emma, I'm 16 years young, and I am paid minimum wage.

I work at a catering company with my mother. Getting the job was a miracle. The fact that I still work there is also a miracle. Most teenagers would've quit by now.

Let me paint you a picture of what my job is like.

My first night a couple of months ago, I worked almost 16 hours in one shift with no break and constant physical labor. I was on my feet from the time I got there until the time I got into the car with my mom at three in the morning to go home.

I cried. A lot.

Yet, I went back. Hey, I can't pass up a paycheck.

So when I'm not breaking my back to make less than $7.50 an hour, I'm making magic.

No really, our catering company litterally makes magic happen.

Follow me on Instagram @ emmylou596

Take last night for example.

We were working a wedding at a really cool metal museum. Weddings are magical to begin with, but seeing the beauty of two people coming together for the rest of their lives actually unfold in front of you is better. Actually putting together most of the event is even better-er.

So we're setting up the food that the guest will eat, but the couple of the night will never get a chance to. Too many congradulations to listen to, too many songs to spin to.

I look up, and we're under a giant tent. It's all white, shielding us from the grey clouds and the omnious storm that could come. Little paper lanterns, also white, delicately bouncing against each other as wind pushes against them, making them seem like clouds.

This place is so beautiful, and before we know it, the guests are cheering as the bride and groom kiss.

That's what makes my job worth it. It's inspiration. It's romantic and pretty.

And I feel so great seeing everyone having such a wonderful time because of what we do.

Last night, I saw a woman dancing with a friend. But she might've been so drunk she didn't know she had a partner. This woman moved to the music like I had never seen before. She was different from all the other guests. She... twirled. She swayed and bent like trees. Her smile was so wide, her eyes closed. Everytime she threw her head back and laughed, you could see how purely happy she was.

I can't wait for a moment like that.

I don't care if I'm black-out drunk, completely sober, or what.

I want a moment where everything is going to perfectly wonderful, nothing is wrong in that exact moment and all I feel is a raw happiness.

I think we all should experience that.

My job is hard, yes. I wake up the next morning with a sore back, swollen feet and hands smelling like leftover food. But the images I see, all of the happy and sloppy drunk people I cater to, they make it enjoyable.

They make it somewhat entertaining.

Plus I get super cool ideas of what to do and what not to do when I get married.

Happy Sunday, lovers.

I'm So In Love

"I'm so in love with my life right now."

My phrase of the month.

There's no reason to shed tears today, there's no reason to hate who you are, there's no reason for these negative vibes.

Let's pull oursleves, brush oursleves off, and keep our chins high.

We're beautiful. And so is the rain.

Happy Summer, everyone.

This Just Can't Be Summer Love

Wow, time has really gotten away from me... These last few weeks of school have been purely insane but I'm happy to say that they are coming to an end for a good three months. WOOHOO. My boyfriend just finished his final exams today and I'm finishing mine on Thursday, then I'm planning on doing a little High School Musical number complete with authentic movie choreography, lyrics, and enthusiasm. I can't put Mr. Efron's wonderful acting "skills" to shame, can I? No, I can not.

Ah, summer. The ultimate time period of freedom for teenagers. When we were little, summer might have been trips to Disney Land, family reunions, the cliche lemonade stand and staying in swimming pools until we're rasins. Now, for most of us, it means working your butts off to get that dream car before the new school year, and sleeping. Lot's and lot's of sleeping. For the kids that live on the coast: it means spending your pointless afternoons crisping at the beach until you'r as leathery as the Tanning Mom. For those of us in the middle of no where (such as myself), it means finding fun at local pools, backyards and anywhere else you can. Also, it's a time to envy the ones by the beach. F*** you, beach bums.

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Summer can be found in every single one of our five senses.

Hearing: we hear kids screaming and laughing, pools splashing, music blaring from open windows in speeding cars. We no longer hear that haunting screech of your alarm in the morning. Instead, you can open your bedroom window and wake up to the birds and the sun. \

Sight: So many colors. Summer brings neon swimsuits and multicolored shorts and flip flops. Sunny days tan our ghostly skins and lighten our hair. It's like being reborn. Flowers come alive, clouds roll away, and we come out to play.

Touch: For the lucky ones, you could be feeling warm sand in between your toes and fingers, the salty ocean, small fish kissing your feet and ankles. For the others, its concrete on barefeet after midnight. Maybe a soft breeze every now and then, stinging eyes and wrinkled skin from hours in  a pool. You feel the temperature rising, love blooming... everything is so warm.

Smell: Sunscreen. BBQ. Fireworks. Salt. Chlorine. Campfires.

Taste. So many popcicles....

What are your plans for summer? As for me, I'm spending every minute I can enjoying it with the boy I love before he leaves forever.

I never want this summer to end.

Craigslist Ad?

Something I have struggled with my ENTIRE life is making friends. Staying in one place for at the most 3 years and then picking up and leaving again really screws with your social life. As I got older, like, around middle school and Freshman year, I noticed that I didn't have many female friends. And if I did, she would last for a while and then fall apart either in some huge fight or just lost touch after relocating. Most of my friends have been male, which isn't bad. Guys are cool. You can burp in front of the ones you're pretty close with, chest bumps, have a good laugh at a classic crude joke when you need to. Guys are also low maintenance. You don't have to worry about hurt feelings or relationship drama. There's no cat fights, no accidentally matching outfits. It's pretty easygoing.

Only recently have I been craving a good girl friend, though. I think we all need one. The good ones that I've managed to keep around live halfway across the country, so sometimes I need something a little closer to home. I'll meet someone new, and they seem cool, but soon show their true colors and turn out to be psycho. Like, they should be locked-up psycho (Just kidding, that's mean of me to say....but srsly). Sometimes I feel so desperate for a good, healthy girl talk, I should post an ad online. I think it would go something like this...

WANTED: AWESOME BESTIE

Qualifications: Must be able to put up with me, understand my sarcasm, enjoy watching movies such as Baby Mama and Mean Girls, etc.

Reward: You get a free friendship that includes an endless supply of food, text messages, busy weekends, and other friendship-y things

Creepy? Nah.  

I would like to extend a very warm and weird "Hello and welcome" to my girlie of the evening, my darling Lizzie! Thanks for being my girlie friend close to home! Even though your boyfriend is my favorite...

And also a "hey" to the girls at St. Agnes! I think I have a few new followers that deserve a thanks!

Happy Monday ladies!



#worthsmilingfor

Since my last post was a little negative, I decided I should do a more positive list. Here are my top 10 things worth smiling for.

(Not in any particular order)

Funny faces?

1. Weekends

Since the dawn of time, every child in the country look forward to those few days of freedom. Freedom from teachers, work, and waking up at unnatural hours of the morning. Children used these days to play video games until three in the morning, stay out and play with friends all day long, and whatever else youngsters like to do. Now as teenagers, these days are spent by sleeping. Lot's and lots of sleeping. Bliss.

2. Friends

They have your back no matter what. When you find the perfect one, you no longer spend your time at parties searching for a companion, or frantically looking about your chemistry class for a lab partner. They get your jokes, they put up with all of your crap and mood swings, and they're the ones that get you into the craziest adventures. Without friends... well, your calendar is pretty empty.

3. Immature Jokes

Not to toot my own horn, but I've been told many times by adults and kids my age that I'm very mature for my age. What these people don't see is my 12 year-old personality. I think I've mentioned here before about my inner child. I swear, I have a middle school boy trapped inside of me that just can't help laughing at every "That's What She Said" joke... That sounds a lot better in my head.

4. Junk Food

Ah, that moment of pure joy when you come home from school on a Friday afternoon and you're the only one in the house. When suddenly your pantry of fridge becomes an endless all-you-can-eat buffet. But you ignore the strawberries and other varies fruits your mother has carefully prepared for you. Nope, you go straight for the Nutterbutters and bag of Chili Cheese Fritos and eat your heart out.

5. Trash TV

Maybe this a girl thing, but I love nothing more on a stressful day than coming home, sitting down, and watching a marathon of Dance Moms Miami. Or even Fashion Police with Joan Rivers. Whatever your guilty pleasure may be, you know that you can't help watching those terrible shows because, let's face it, they make our lives seem so put together.

6. Undies

Most likely another girl thing, but am I the only woman in the whole country who just loves it when her undies match her bra that day?! Something about looking good under the already super cute outfit you have on just makes me feel great inside and out. You can never be too prepared either. Any moment you might catch on fire and have to strip to your knickers. Think of how terrible that would be if you were wearing your super cute Pink panties with your lazy Target bra! You never know.

7. Youtube

Some of the best laughs I have had have come from the funniest Internet videos. Imagine a world where you don't have the ability to go onto the Internet and look up that hilarious cat video or watch one of the best comedians that ever lived online. Without this wondrous site, there would be a lot less smiles in my life.

8. Family

Okay, they don't always cause smiles, but a lot of the times, my family can be pretty hilarious. We all share the same sense of humor; dark and twisted and pretty sarcastic. But hey, they're great for making light of a bad situation. They always have your back no matter what and even if you don't think so since you're a dramatic teenager, they will always love you. That's worth a smile.

9. Boyfriends

This has only been recently added to my list of things worth smiling for (It's only been a week? No way), but having a significant other is pretty nice. A lot of girls complain about boyfriends being too high maintenance. I guess they've had crappy boyfriends. When you find a good one, stick with him. When he makes you laugh when you want to cry, when he makes you go see a mushy gushy love movie just to laugh at how cheesy it is, when he gets along with your family and laughs at their embarrassing attempts at jokes, he's a keeper.

10. Okay, I lied.

I can't think of a #10. So how 'bout you stop being lazy and write one for me? What's one thing in your life worth smiling for. E-mail it to me, post on my Tumblr, or on my Facebook.

And stay tuned for another post! I've been thinking about something I want to write about, I just haven't had the time to sit down and write it.

Also I'm thinking about posting an original short story I have recently written. It's a horror story, since my crush for Stephen King grows stronger by the minute. That's not creepy at all.

Happy Tuesday, cool cats!

#highschoolprobs

1. Annoying & stupid teachers

I really want to become a teacher someday just so I can be a better teacher than all of my terrible teachers. 

2. Drama

Boys, friends, relationships, enemies... It's all getting so old. Plus, it's just plain exhausting. When will we all just grow up?

3. Parents

I know they love me, and I love them more than anyone else, but I really wish they would back off sometimes. I need to make a mistake every once in a while, don't I? I can't do that with them breathing down my back.

4. Sex

Unfortunately, it's everywhere now. Whether you're ready for it or not, it's an obstacle now. It causes paranoia, insecurities, stress, and a lot of other bad feelings. Add it to the weight on your shoulders. 

5. College

If you're psycho like me, you've been thinking about this since Freshman year. Most normal people don't start thinking about it until Junior or Senior year. Well, Junior year is approaching... Time to decide want you want to be when you grow up. Great. 

6. Driving

The thought of being behind a large and very lethal moving vehicle is the most frightening thing in the world to me. I've just recently started getting behind the wheel, and I hate it. Why can't I just fast forward through the learning part?

7. Jobs

Getting my first paycheck was the coolest thing ever. Actually working for it was lame. What were we all thinking when we said we couldn't wait to be grown ups? Five-year-old me was brainwashed into thinking this whole adulthood thing was cool.

8. Frienemies

That girl that used to be my best friend but turned into my least favorite person? I still feel a knot in my stomach every time I pass her in the hall. Especially since I'm best friends with her ex-boyfriend. 

9. Stupid People

Those seniors who think they are better than everyone else a grade below them. That smart kid in math class that's a no-it-all and is a jerk to everyone that isn't a human calculator. That girl who constantly talks smack about people you like. I won't be missing you when graduation rolls around. 

10.  Everything you're not allowed to do because you're not officially a grown-up yet

Either completely treat us like we're 5, or completely treat us like the legal adult we're about to become. I feel like I'm in middle school again. Which was arguable the worst 3 years of my life. Joy.

What are your top 10 high school problems? 

**Follow me on Tumblr and like my Facebook page**

Out with the Old, In with the New!

For those of you who used picnik.com as religiously as I did to make your pictures look pretty and professional, I'm sure you are just as heartbroken as I am to hear that it is closing... What a shame.

On the flip side, I found a wonderful replacement suggested by Picnik! PicMonkey.com has similar features to Picnik and is super fun to use! Just as easy as Picnik too! So your photos can stay just as pretty as they've always been!

Still wanting to submit my viewer art! Please e-mail me you artwork, writing, photography and more to my e-mail at navy.brat@yahoo.com

Happy Wednesday!

Smiling Like an Idiot

I love it when God has a good week planned for me. When one moment I'm confused and torn, and the next I can't stop smiling. It's the way things turned out today. It was a good Monday.

Before I go on, let me wish everyone a belated Happy Easter! I attended my first Catholic Good Friday service and it was just... breathtaking. It's been a long time since I have gotten choked up during church and let me say was I almost in tears during that service. It was haunting. It was beautiful. So much love for my Savior is filling my heart.

After Good Friday I had an uneventful weekend, with a relaxing Easter Sunday (lovely family pics to come). I hope everyone else had a stress-free and beautiful Easter as well!

After that relaxing weekend, I was faced with some choices today.

I chose to endlessly complain about my Chemistry teacher, my three back-to-back quizzes tomorrow, and boys.

I could write a book - SEVERAL books - on how confusing, arrogant, and immature boys can be. And then I could write a sequel to how lovesick, naive, and stupid girls can be.

 But that one would end up being an autobiography.

All that drama and confusion left me with no hope for male beings. And then, here comes Cupid again poking me in the butt over and over.

After every sweet text message, after every "goodnight beautiful" text, after smiles and jokes and flirts and tickle fights, Cupid stabs me again and again.

 And I'm left on the sidewalk smiling down at my cell phone like a crazy person.

I'm so fickle. But I can't help but loving the crap out of this guy.

Even if he does have a few tattoos...

HEY GUYS, LISTEN UP!

To my other Starving Artists and talented writers:

It's your time to shine!

 I want YOUR WORK to post HERE on my blog! If you want your writing, artwork, photography, or anything else artistic that needs to be recognized to be featured here on my blog and my Tumblr page, please e-mail me at navy.brat@yahoo.com. This is a fantastic chance to gain some feedback from strangers and fellow viewers! (These strangers and friendly, I promise!) I would really like to see what inspiring things are hiding out in my readers, so send me some of it!

*This will be an on-going chance*; whenever I recieve something creative in my inbox, I'll post it here!

Along with your art, I would also like at least ONE picture of you included, as well as a brief answer to this one easy-peasy question:

Little Maggie says: INSPIRE ME!

Why is art important to you?

Then we're good to go! 

So get crackin', artists. I'm ready to be inspired.

2 More Years & I'm Gone

I was sitting at the lunch table the other day looking around our crowded cafeteria. I turned to my friend and said, "I really can't wait to graduate and get out of here." My friend looked around as well, looking as if he was counting the heads in the room. "Yeah," he said. "You and... everyone else here." 

I keep asking my mom if it gets better, this whole "high school" gig. Right now, I'm not really enjoying it. I will admit, there are times that I have some fun. Parties with other kids, cupcakes your art teacher brings in for your birthday, and new bus buddies to make the ride home a little more bearable. But other times, when you have grueling chemistry assignments first thing in the morning, when the guy you really, really like holds hands with another girl, and when rumors spread about the girl you used know get worse, I really hate that building I march into at 6:45 AM every morning. 

I've done things I regret. I believe we all have. And I know how much it sucks when those things reach the public. When the kids you see in the halls here about that mistake you made last week, it might not seem like a big deal at first. But let me remind you, this is high school. We're dealing with people 18 years old and under who love nothing more than blowing things out of proportion. That's when things get messy. Labels are created. Feelings are hurt. And it may seem like nobody will ever forget that thing that you didn't want them to know about in the first place. But here's another reminder: you're only here for a little while. Me? I have less than two more years at this place. Then I may never see most of these people ever again. If you want to think about it like that, go ahead. But it is a sad way to think about your youth. 

Right now, I have a little hope. Even though I'm taking harder classes next year, I'll be an upper classman! I mean, that's one thing to be excited about!

But then you can go all Debbie Downer again and think about how in a few more years, you'll be a freshmen again... Oh well. That's life I guess. 

Irrelevant picture is irrelevant.

Snapshots

Just sharing some unmeaningful photos with all of you here that I've also been sharing elsewhere.

It was a boring afternoon...

Add me on Tumblr and check me out on DeviantArt to see more my photos.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Dear Tumblr...

Okay, okay, I'll say it. 

I'm absolutely hooked on Tumblr. 

The amount of time I waste on that stupid site is a little sad.

(I've been saying I would clean my room for 3 days now...)

While wasting all this time thought, I've noticed a... pattern, a motif, if you will, of photos. I don't know what everyone else calls them, but I've dubbed them the 

"EAT LESS"

This is my tummy. I love my tummy. 

photos. 

Can you guess what the hidden message is in the pics?

Self-hate. 

These girls believe they're fat, ugly, too tall, too short, and a billion other things they think is wrong with them. They feel that eating less will make them prettier and more accepted in society, when in reality, those girls really should eat more. 

Now, I'm not suggesting you stuff your face with Zebra Cakes...

(Because I never do that when I'm home alone... *cough*cough*)

But you definitely don't need to be skipping your three meals a day.

One of the main influences of these insecurities can be guys. The pressure to have sex is enormous now, especially in high school. Men can have high standards when it comes to women's bodies, and women feel as if it's their job to meet these standards. If the guy your with is telling you to "eat less" just for his sake, then honey, he ain't worth a lick of your time. 

You are beautiful. 

You are worth so much more than you think. 

No guy in the world deserves the gift you posses.

Oh, and most guys  I know think having hips is better than just pelvic bone.  

So ladies, stop hating. You're probably hurting your tummy's feelings. And soon, your tummy will start having insecurities too. Help your tummy to help you. 

And for God's sake, eat a freakin' Twinkie. 

Something That Irks Me...



I'm not perfect.

I've been faced with a big obstacle the past few weeks. When I was a kid, I was always told you had a choice; there are two roads you can take: the high road, or the low road. I've had to make that choice a lot lately.

Something I've noticed a lot amongst my fellow classmates is judgment. Before I go into my rant, I would like to clarify something:

I am not perfect.

I have never claimed to be perfect.

I have judged people before I even knew them and I still do it to this day.

But I'm working to be better.

Here in the "Bible Belt", kids my age and their families have their religion close to their heart. They read the bible daily, memorize scriptures, they get involved in their youth groups and so forth.

I believe in God. I believe that Jesus died on the cross because

 he loves me.

But I sin every day. And I admit to my sins.

I cuss.

I gossip.

I disrespect my parents occasionally.

And I've some things that I've admitted to myself, but don't want to admit out loud because I am ashamed.

And right now, at this very moment, I know that God still loves me, even after doing all of this.

I know

God is the only one who can judge me, forgive me, and save me.

I believe in this, and I've barely memorized a single scripture.

Okay, Emma, get to the point...

My point is I've seen so many people doing the judging themselves. Doing God's job for him. I've heard people damning others to Hell because they don't attend church every week. Catty girls and hateful "Christians" have spread rumors and harmful words to others about fellow teens, kids who sit next to them at class or at their lunch table, and these people haven't even said one word to that person they're talking so hatefully about. These people literally don't know them whatsoever.

 I know, because I've been that person they talk about.

Why? Why do they believe they know better than God? Christians are supposed to be welcoming and understanding and open-minded and loving. Lately, I've been disappointed in my fellow Christians.

Again, I'm definitely no Saint. But I never said one bad thing about that person. Simply because I have no idea who they are. Is that so crazy?

I have been the one to say the hurtful words, though. I was a person who judged another quicker than you can snap your fingers simply by looking at them. But I've realized how ridiculous this is. It's simply immature. I've learned, and I'm working to better myself.

To those who judge and have no learned:

Stop.

You don't know their story.

That person could be struggling.

That person could be lost in their faith.

That person might not have many friends.

That person may have insecurities.

How would I know?

I've been that person.

But I'm not now.

I would like to shout-out to my wonderful new friends at SFA Youth Group. Without you guys, I wouldn't feel so welcome.

I love our Sunday nights.